By Author | January 18, 2010 at 08:09 PM EST | 1 comment
January 19, 2010 marks 20 years since the passing of my mother, the late Indiana State Senator Carolyn Brown Mosby (D-Gary). She quietly made her transition approximately 75 days after she saw her last official duties as the Senator representing the city of Gary and surrounding areas. It was the November 4, 1989 referendum vote that brought casinos first to Gary and the state of Indiana.
She fought tirelessly, while dealing with terminal cancer to ensure that the city of Gary had the opportunity to benefit from casino revenue with the hope that it would reinvigorate the city and jump start economic development. While the referendum passed and casinos came to Gary and later to other parts of the area and state, what she had hoped would spur significant economic development simply has not happened.
If my mother were still alive, she would be both happy and sad about her beloved city, Gary, Indiana. She would be happy to see that some progress had been made but with every step forward there seems to be at least two steps backward.
She would be happy to see that men and women from my generation haven't all abandoned their hometown - that some chose to stay to try and make a difference. She would be disappointed that I did not stay but somewhat happy that I did come back for a while and try to serve my community.
She would be disappointed that some of my friends and classmates and me, for that matter, haven't used our skills and connections to the extent that we could to help our city more.
She would be disappointed to know that some former leaders, accused of criminal acts and putting personal interests above serving their constituents have had to face criminal prosecution and in some instances, jail. She would smile and be happy to see the progress and growth at the Gary Airport and hope that continued growth and opportunities would not be overshadowed by political agendas and egos not just for the airport for the city as a whole.
She would be hopeful that other young leaders are not discouraged by years of politics as usual in the region and the notion that Gary is not treated fairly and continue to seek elected positions in city and state government.
Her family is hopeful that her contributions to the city, state and nation are forever remembered and that proper recognition is given for her tireless service - while she has been honored with a street (Broadway) and has had a senior citizens high rise named in her honor, two significant awards given in the city have still not been bestowed in life or death. Surely the woman who championed casinos, minority business development, fought against insurance redlining and was called one of the hardest working legislators in the state of Indiana and most importantly - someone who truly put her constituents first is worthy of such an honor.
I was 22 years old when my mother died and at such a young age, had just begun to realize the true impact that her service had on her community, the state and the country. I only wish that I could have enjoyed an adult relationship with my mom and that she would have had the opportunity to meet her other grandchildren and most of all, my son Lance. Had she lived, I believe she would have gone on to serve in Congress or perhaps would have been the first woman Mayor of Gary, Indiana.
By Author | December 21, 2009 at 09:19 PM EST | 1 comment
January 19, 2010 will mark 20 years since the passing of the late Indiana State Senator Carolyn Brown Mosby. The hard working legislator that devoted 12 years to serving the constituents of Gary and Lake County, Indiana. She authored the original legislation that brought casino gaming - first to Gary; authored legislation that created the State of Indiana's Minority Business Enterprise program, authored major legislation on insurance redlining, poor relief, bills to provide tourism dollars for Lake County and much much more.
What would she think about the current state of the city of Gary, Lake County and the State of Indiana. What would she think about the election of the first African American President or the opportunities or lack of opportunities in state contracting for minority businesses? What would she think about how casino dollars are being used or not being used?
I will share my thoughts as her daughter around the anniversary of her passing. If you knew her, what do you think she would say? Share your thoughts, I'd love to hear them.
By Author | December 13, 2009 at 09:44 PM EST | No Comments
As "Unflappable" as I am most of the time, there are things in my life that continue to test my resolve. I certainly don't expect life to be without challenges and I get quite annoyed with myself when I forget to focus on the things that are truly important.
I recently asked a few of my girlfriends if they believe that as you grow as a person, you sometimes outgrow people in your life. I believe that you do. Our lives have taken different twists and turns - for good and bad and the experiences we all have and lessons we learn sometimes separate us from our friends, families, circumstances, etc.
I will admit that there are probably people, affiliations and associations that I have held on to over the years because I thought I should or that I owed something to someone but as I reflect on things that may be holding me back from truly growing and receiving all my blessings, I am ready to let go.
I am no celebrity but parts of my life are certainly public - heck its what I have done for a living...live in the public domain. I exposed a lot of myself in my book and talked about experiences that have made me who I am but I can tell you that through the advice of one of my editors, the last chapter of my book isn't what it started out to be.
That chapter that I wanted to share remains unwritten and a year and half later, I still question if it was the right thing to do. You see it continues to test my "Unflappable" nature.
While I have no plans on writing another book, I may write the unpublished chapter and then leave it all behind and not look back. I've outgrown that circumstance and that association and it's time to let it go.
By Author | October 25, 2009 at 04:31 PM EDT | No Comments
It's been three months since I have blogged. That's a long time! It hasn't been that I haven't had anything to write about but more that I have been busy. In the course of being busy these past three months, I could have written at least two more chapters to my book!!! LOL. There have been some highs, some lows and a little bit of drama...all the makings of a good book or movie for sure.
As I continue to promote my book, one question I get a lot is "Why did you write a book?" My answer is generally that I have always wanted to write a book - not necessarily about me but I chose to tell my story.
When you think about it, everybody has a story to tell and as I have said before, some of us choose to tell our stories in print, in film/documentaries or through public speaking. Some have stories that they choose not to share publicly, but everyone has one.
My friend Kemba has an amazing story that she tells all across the country, hoping to affect someone else's life and keep them from making the same mistakes she made. Her story will actually become a movie soon (www.kembasmithfoundation.org ). My friend Jay has an awesome story that he often tells to friends or new acquantances or you simply learn about it as you get to know him and I've been trying to get him to write about it for years! I know it is a best seller.
If someone else had to tell your life story, would they get it right? Do they really know you? What unique experiences (good and bad) have shaped who you are and made you who you are?
I did the exercise below last week at a conference. Try it and share here if you like (you can be anonymous).
Everybody has a story. What's Yours??? If you had to draw a line from birth to now, what were the high points, the low points, critical decisions you made or risks you took?
By Author | July 20, 2009 at 07:17 PM EDT | 1 comment
For the past 10 days, Indiana Black Expo celebrated the 39th Annual Summer Celebration in Indianapolis. I couldn't help but reflect on this time five years ago when I lost a mentor in the Rev. Charles R. Williams, the longtime president of the organization. He died from prostate cancer.
I also write about this in my book. Rev. died the week before I gave birth to my son Lance and while walking through the conevntion center this past weekend, many people stopped me and said, "Is this the Expo baby?" Many people remember how nervous I was about going into labor while dealing with the death of Rev. Williams during the event.
My fondest memories of Rev. include the many fun trips back to Northwest Indiana for the Northwest Indiana Black Expo Spring Celebration and all the fun we would have. I also remember some of the good career advice he gave me and most importantly, the opportunities he gave me that certainly helped me become successful.
Did you know Rev.? What were some of your fondest memories of him?
By Author | July 09, 2009 at 09:29 PM EDT | 1 comment
A few days ago I posted on my facebook page the notice of my sister's death. Most people who know me didn't know that I even had a sister, unless you read my book. Actually she was my half sister and more than 20 years older than me (I think).
In my book I wrote about the fact that my father had two children from a previous marriage. My oldest half brother, my father's son died some years ago. Now my half sister, my father's oldest daughter is gone. Remaining is my brother Bill from my mother's first marriage who I have a great relationship with.
I was just telling someone about my sister a few days before I learned of her death. Explaining that I didn't have a relationship with her at all and the last time I saw or spoke to her was at my brother's funeral and that had to be about 10 years ago.
I struggled with deciding whether or not to attend the funeral because I simply felt no connection. I did attend my brother's funeral, where I last saw my sister but even then I felt out of place because I had no relationship with him either and the only person that tied us together, our father, had died many years earlier.
I didn't go to the funeral but said a prayer for her and her family. I am sure there are family members that thought I should have been there and some even understood why I didn't go. It wasn't an easy decision for me to make but it was my decision alone. Rest in peace Janice. You are reunited with our brother John Jr., and our father, John Sr.
By Author | June 29, 2009 at 08:56 PM EDT | 3 comments
As I heard the news of the death of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson and like so many others, sat in front of the television to listen to the coverage, I noticed, like most of you did that the King of Pop's coverage trumped that of Farrah Fawcett. Why? Because he is an icon and his death was a bigger news story.
It made me stop and wonder, what will my legacy be? When I am gone, what will I be remembered for and who will care or how many people will pay atention until somethng else more interesting or bigger turns their attention away? What will I leave behind, (other than a book I wrote at the age of 40) that has made a difference? Sure, you can "google" me but so what? In the end does a newspaper headline really matter?
I tell people all of the time that seem to be so impressed that I wrote a book that everyone has a story. Some of us share our stories in different ways and some of us choose not to share at all.
Other than sharing my story, how have I shared my life experiences with others to help them? What about you? Do you ever wonder what legacy you will leave and how you will be remembered?
My mother, the only person that could do it write (or at least that is what she thought), wrote her entire funeral program - obituary, order of service, pall bearers and all. Not so much because she didn't want to burden us, but because she didn't think anyone else would do it right. She wrote the last chapter in her book of life - the way she wanted us to remember her. Think about it. If you were writing that final chapter, what would it say?
By Author | June 20, 2009 at 02:49 PM EDT | 1 comment
Daddy’s girl for sure!My dad and I were quite a pair.At a young age I looked a lot like him.The funny colored eyes and all.Dad and I were more like buddies than father and daughter but he was truly one of a kind.In my last blog I talked about men saying that they didn’t know how to approach me and the need for men to see where they fit in.
John Oliver Mosby Sr., had it all figured out!He was clearly Mr. Mom as I state in my book.He had no problem stepping into a non-traditional role so that my mother could have the career she wanted.It may have been the 20 year age difference that allowed him to be more secure in his manhood or it may have been part of his strategy to win her heart.Nevertheless, it worked.
As we celebrate this Father’s Day and every Father’s Day, I always wish that he had lived long enough to see his little girl all grown up.To celebrate my professional accomplishments, laugh at the men I dated along the way (no offense to the guys I dated) and definitely to meet his grandson.
For those whose fathers have died, cherish the memories.For those who never knew their father because they weren’t fathers at all, know that it was part of God’s plan for someone else to touch your life and that they missed out on something special and for those fathers who may have lost a child, be thankful for the time you had and the impact that you made and the angel that you sent back to heaven.
Dedicated to my dad, John O. Mosby, Sr.(1911 – 1987) and to Ricky who lost his little angel Christian last year.
By Author | June 13, 2009 at 09:25 PM EDT | 9 comments
I've been divorced for six months now, and in that time I have had at least five men tell me that at some point and time, they wanted to ask me out but I was "unapproachable", "hard to read", "kind of cold" or that "I was all business". Huh?
Well first, if five people have told me almost the same thing, I definitely can't ignore it. I admit that I probably have a very serious look about me. Never did I know that I was scaring men off. A plus is that I probably kept a few knuckleheads away but I may have missed out too!
First impressions are often lasting ones but each of these same men had to admit that after they got to know me, I wasn't that way at all. While my look may have prevented them from saying something to me and I may have missed out - clearly they did too!
Sometimes I think that independence comes at a price - at least for women. Single women and single moms often have to be independent and not rely on others and that very independence often gets in the way in relationships. I have certainly experienced it, have you?
I was listening to Steve Harvey talk about his book, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man," where he said that men are sizing women up the moment they lay eyes on them, trying to figure out where they can "fit in". He said that if the woman is so independent and can do everything for herself, they guy doeesn't think he has a chance because he can't see where he can fit it. There's nothing that he can do for her.
I have to agree somewhat with Steve Harvey but at the same time, I don't think that should send a man running. What do you think ladies, men?
By Author | June 09, 2009 at 09:08 PM EDT | 1 comment
Over the course of my life there have definitely been significant events that have occured - both good and bad, that I didn't quite understand. I talk about this in my book and I have come to understand that our lives are ordered by a higher power and we don't always understand the "why" but it is all revealed in time.
Hopefully as many of you read my book, you were able to stop and reflect on things that happened in your life at one point that you questioned or didn't quite understand but when you look back, you can see that it prepared you for something greater or made you stronger or helped you to help someone else.
By Author | June 05, 2009 at 08:52 PM EDT | 1 comment
The last chapter in my book was titled, "A Continuing Journey." I wrote that chapter in late 2007. The publishing process started in January 2008 and the book was published in August 2008. A lot has happened on my journey since then and while those chapters will probably never be published, I am truly continuing a journey that has many twists and turns.
Now, one full year after separating and five month's after my divorce was final and four months after the death of my mother-in-law, I continue adjusting to being a single mother and now even thinking about what a relationship might look like in the future.
Now its not just me. I have to think about and make sure I set a good example for my son. I also now have to juggle professional responsibilites and demands with motherhood - making sure I can pick Lance up from school and adjusting my work schedule when he is ill.
When I first moved back to Indianapolis after separating, my mother-in-law was the person I counted on to help with Lance. She is now gone. For those that read my book, you know that I have experienced many losses and the irony in her death is that she died the exact same day my mother died, 19 years earlier. I visted my mother-in-law's grave on May 10, 2009 - Mother's Day and what would have been my mother's 77th birthday.
This is my first blog post but I will share some of the hard decisions and things I continue to adjust to and struggle with on my "Unflappable" journey. Feel free to leave comments!